Gordon Robinson | Language and logic

I’ve recently wrote that, to become a lawyer, you need only master language and logic.

The truth is the same applies to many professions including medicine and psychology which, although also therapeutic, isn’t medical science. Doctors tend to lean heavily on logic to diagnose patients while a surgeon is as reliant on evidence as any lawyer. But what you’re most likely to become, once you’re expert at language and logic, is a philosopher.

A Philosopher, no matter what you’ve heard elsewhere, is nothing more than a clear thinker who refuses to obfuscate. A philosopher uses language and logic to see through illusion and explain the apparently inexplicable. The best Philosophers use language and logic to explain the meaning of life.

But philosophy is more often used to solve simpler problems by seeing what’s right in front of most people - hidden in plain sight. For example, take Elon Musk. Please. Far away!

Since he bought Twitter my timeline is flooded with unwanted, unavoidable trivia. Among the Twits invading my space are persons who seem to have nothing to do but relentlessly posts silly riddles for readers to solve every sixty seconds.

Most of the riddles are presented as tests of mathematical ability but are really language and logic tests. One series is so easy even Mickey Mouse’s pal Goofy could solve them. An example: “Mary’s mother has five children. Four are named January, February, March and April. Name the fifth.”

You’d be surprised how many get it wrong because they see the progression instead of the answer that’s staring them in the face. If none of the four are named Mary the fifth must be her. After all, the riddle’s subject is “Mary’s mother”. Duh! It reminds me of an old, simplistic brainteaser with which we tricked classmates at Campion. “An airplane crashed on the border of Canada and USA. Where were the survivors buried?”

Again, you’d be surprised how many allegedly bright young boys of the 1960s got this wrong while wracking their brains to pick a Country. I won’t insult you with the answer. You see it, dontcha?

Language and logic does it every time.

Here’s a slightly more difficult riddle from my uninvited Twitter twerps:

“I have six eggs. I broke 2. I fried 2. I ate 2. How many eggs are left?”

My answer (I didn’t bother to look for the twerp’s) is at the end. No peeking. Use your language and logic skills.

Here’s a classic conundrum for you. What’s wrong with the following story posted on January 14 by Global Insight Journal (owns one of Elon’s expensive blue ticks), allegedly an internationally recognised peer-reviewed, open-access academic journal that takes submissions from scholars worldwide?

One of Einstein’s students asked him: “What does logic mean?”

Einstein said: “I’ll answer you with a question. Suppose two workers enter a chimney to clean it. One comes out with a dirty face and the other with a clean face. Who will go wash their face?”

The student immediately, and without hesitation, replied, “Of course, the one with the dirty face.”

Einstein said: “Your answer is incorrect. The one who’ll wash their face is the one with the clean face because he looked at his colleague’s face and assumed that his own face was as dirty as his colleague’s. The one with the dirty face won’t wash his face, thinking it’s clean like his colleague’s.”

The student said: “That’s correct and logical.”

Einstein replied: “No, it isn’t correct, because the question itself is illogical. It isn’t logical for two men to enter the same chimney at the same time and for one to come out clean and the other dirty.”

In a few words, logic itself can collapse, so sometimes the problem isn’t in the answer but in the flawed question itself.

The lesson is excellent. The story fails any fact check test using language and logic. Einstein was a theoretical physicist not a philosopher. He lived in a world of scientific theory based on logic and proven by experiment. He’d never answer a question with a question especially not a hypothetical incapable of scientific proof. Also, the story is a deflection showing how to apply logic without answering the student’s initial question.

Not Einstein!

As it turns out, the story is false. Or, better put, there’s no evidence Einstein ever held this conversation. So be alert, especially these days where intelligence is mostly artificial. Ask questions. Suspect everything unproven. That you are paranoid doesn’t mean everybody ISN’T out to get you!

And nothing in this world is as it appears.

Peace and Love.

P.S.: The egg riddle answer is 6. It begins ‘I have 6 eggs” not ‘I had 6 eggs”. The rest is all past tense so, obviously, took place BEFORE you “have” six eggs. Language and logic!

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com