DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Should I allow him to put it in for a few seconds?

• Should I allow him to put it in for a few seconds?

Q. Doc, I am a girl of 18 and I would be grateful for your advice about my relationship with a boy. I must start by telling you that I am still a virgin, though it has been difficult to stay that way because I seem to be pretty highly sexed.

In the last few weeks, I have been dating a very nice, attractive guy who is a year or so older than me. I think he has had sexual experiences with other girls in the past. But so far, all I have done with him is kissing and cuddling, although I have let him squeeze my breasts. Also, on one occasion, I allowed him to put his fingertips on my pubic region. I have to confess, Doctor, that I find him very exciting.

Well, the situation now is that he wants me to let him put his penis in for just a few seconds. He maintains that if I allow him to do that, he would be so delighted that he would not want anything more. Also, he says he would only insert it a couple of inches. He states that this would not do any harm. My head is in a spin, Doc. What should I do? Could I safely agree to what he says?

A. No, you couldn't. It is clear that like many young women, you do not understand the way the male mind works. Please try to understand that most young men are strongly 'programmed' to want to insert the penis into the vagina and then to discharge inside it. For thousands of years, that has been the primary purpose of the male sex. And this is the main reason why the human race has continued to reproduce itself and increase its numbers.

Admittedly, not all young guys are like this. Some are gay. Others are very moral and religious and do their very best to battle against the desires of the flesh and to lead a pure life.

However, it is best to assume that any man who wants to squeeze your breasts and get under your skirt is desperately keen to go all the way. I think you can be pretty certain that this guy is planning to have full sex with you.

Young men have various ways of persuading a female into allowing full sex. Very often, they achieve their aim by proceeding gradually. So, over a period of time, they start by massaging the breasts, then move to putting their hands on the genitals.

You may be shocked by this, but frequently, they will compare notes with each other about how far they have got with girls. They will give each other 'useful tips' such as 'press her here and she won't be able to resist you'.

GIVE HIM AN INCH …

Once they have got the girl used to being touched in the genital area, they start suggesting that it would be OK to bring the penis into contact with the vulva, which is the opening of the vagina. From there, it is but a step to getting her to allow a brief insertion of the male organ into the female one. At this point, they usually say things like: 'It wouldn't do any harm to leave it in for just a little longer, would it?'

Eventually, the boy persuades the girl to allow him to stay in for quite a long time. Frequently, he gets her to agree that he can remain inside till just before he reaches his climax. He may say: 'Don't fret. I'll pull out just before it happens.'

Then one day, he doesn't quite pull out in time. This means that the girl suddenly finds herself full of sperm. And a couple of weeks later, she may find that she is pregnant.

Now, I expect that your boyfriend really is a nice, pleasant young man. But what he wants to do is to seduce you. And if you let him put his organ inside you, that would not be safe at all. Frankly, my advice is that you should tell him no. But knowing the behaviour of many young couples, I suspect that you will eventually give in. If that day arrives, then at the very least I beg you to insist that he wears a condom.Good luck!

• Fertilisation by bullet?

Q.Doctor, several of my friends have told me that if a guy gets shot in the testicles and the bullet continues and hits a girl, that can make her pregnant. I am a student of biology, and I find this idea hard to believe. What is the truth?

A. This story about girls being made pregnant by bullets has been circulating round the world for well over 100 years. In fact, I believe it started soon after the US Civil War.

At that time, a doctor announced in a medical journal that a young American woman had become pregnant because a bullet had passed through the testicles of her beau and had somehow picked up some sperm. The claim was that the sperm had somehow finished up in her ovary. I must say that I regard the whole notion as foolishness. How could sperm survive on the surface of a speeding bullet? The answer is: they couldn't.

I guess that what happened was that this American belle became pregnant in the usual way. But such a thing was considered so shocking in those days that the young couple made up the fantastic story about fertilisation by gunshot.

• Could I get cancer?

Q. Can masturbation give you cancer, Doc?

A. No, it certainly can't, so forget that idea.

• Am I sick?

Q. I am a guy of 17, and I am rather concerned about white stuff which I find under my foreskin every few days. What is this, please?

A This stuff is called smegma, and most young men produce a little of it. It is a natural secretion, and it doesn't mean that you have any health problem. But leaving it lying around on the skin is not considered too hygienic. Therefore, you should wash it away. A good plan for all young guys is to wash that area of the body once every day.

• Losing his nature?

Q. My boyfriend could not 'make it' last night. He claimed that this was due to the effect of the beer he had. Is that possible, Doctor?

A Yes. Alcohol is notorious for making it difficult to reach erection. Sounds as if your young man should drink less. But if he continues to get erection problems, he should consult a doctor.

• Is the patch safe?

Q. I am a female Gleaner reader living abroad, and a doctor has suggested to me that I should use a contraceptive skin patch. But would this work?

A. Yes. The patch works in the same way as the Pill. You put it on your skin for a week, then change it for a fresh one. After using three patches, you have a patch-free week, and during that time your menses should arrive. The patch is pretty much as effective as the contraceptive Pill, but it does also have the same side effects as the Pill.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.