Doctor's Advice - Should I continue this Internet relationship?

• Should I continue this Internet relationship?

Q.  Doc, could you give me some advice? I have got involved in something on the Internet, and I am not sure what to do.
For a long time now, I have been sad about the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. Then suddenly, I found one on the 'net.

He told me that he was a guy of 17 from Ohio. I cannot see him, but in his photo, he looks very handsome. He can see me when we are in contact, and when he first saw me on his screen, he said that he thought I was beautiful.

So things went great for a couple of weeks. Then he started asking me to strip in front of the camera. I did this because he said it was "artistic", and it also turned him on. My mother did not know anything about this.

After he had seen the pictures of me naked, he told me he loved me. So I thought that was wonderful. I did not inform anyone - except my best friend at school. She seemed a little worried about what was happening, but I thought she was just jealous. She does not have a boyfriend.

Well, Doc, I was very happy until this week. Then my boyfriend asked me to "do more" for him. He said he would find it exciting if I could just masturbate in front of the camera so he could watch me. Now, I am not so sure about this, Doc. Why does he want me to do this? I have heard that some guys get excited when they see girls stimulating themselves. Is that the reason why he wants me to do this in front of the camera? I would be grateful for your fatherly help.

A. I can hear alarm bells ringing loudly. Something is very wrong here. What you have not realised is that all over the world, there have been a lot of these 'Internet encounters' in which young girls think they are talking to teenage boys.

In reality, the 'boy' is often 45 or 65 years of age! OK, so you have seen an alleged photo of this so-called boyfriend, but the fact that you have not actually seen him on the screen while you are talking to him is deeply suspicious.

In many cases, what happens is that a middle-aged or elderly man uses the Internet to strike up a sort of relationship with a girl. He then persuades the young lady to take her clothes off in front of the camera in order to provide him with sexual thrills. Often, the next stage is to ask the girl to perform sex acts, and this is the point things have reached with you.

What would happen next? Some of these guys then actually arrange a meeting with the teenage girls. Astoundingly, there are young women who have gone ahead and met the men and have still not quite realised how much older they are! Often, it is very simple for a fast-moving and predatory guy to have sex with the innocent teen before she has understood what is happening to her.

Also, there has recently been a particularly nasty twist to these scams. Some of those vicious characters have actually blackmailed young women. They usually say something like 'I have a tape of you masturbating. Unless you send me some money, I will arrange for your family and friends and teachers to see it.' And that is really wicked!

I hope I have said enough to make you realise that you should break off this so-called relationship right now. Please do not contact the guy any more. I strongly recommend that you tell your mother about what has happened. She would decide whether the police or the Internet service provider ought to be informed. I am sorry you have had such a bad experience.

• Clearing up a yeast infection

Q. I am an 18-year-old guy from near Ocho Rios. Last week, I had sex with a girl for the first time in my life. Now, the girl has texted me to say that she has yeast in the vagina. I am panicking, Doc!  What must I do?

A. Relax! Yeast is just the same thing as thrush or candida, which is a common, but minor, vaginal infection. Thousands of women get it. I do not suppose that you gave it to the young lady, but have you got it now?

Well, if you have any itching and soreness around the foreskin, then probably, the answer is yes. Even if you have no symptoms, it is possible that you may be carrying some of that little fungus.  So I would suggest that whether you have symptoms or not, you buy some anti-yeast cream from a pharmacy and apply it to yourself four times a day for a week. If at the end of that time you have any soreness or itching, then see a doctor.  Incidentally, I hope that the young woman is getting some medication. Maybe you could text her to check that that is so.

• Dangers of first-time sex

Q.  Last month, I let a boy penetrate me bareback - but only around an inch or two. I felt something 'pop', and later, a little blood appeared on my pants.  Do you think that this means I have broken my hymen, Doctor?

A. Yes, I think that is very likely. Please take care in future, and make sure that you only practise safe sex.

• Am I in love?

Q. As a guy, I have always felt that girls were rather 'beneath me'. But now, I have met a beautiful young lady of 19, and I find that I cannot stop thinking about her night and day.  I dream about her, and when I wake up, I start scheming about how I could meet her during the morning.  I cannot even concentrate on my food or my studies because I am always imagining her, and, of course, about how wonderful it would be to have sex with her.  Doc, do you think I am genuinely in love?

A. Yes, you definitely are, but bear in mind that this may not be a permanent state! Six months from now, you may find that you are no longer in love with her.  In the meantime, why don't you just try and get to know her and maybe, ask her out?

• Is it chlamydia?

Q. Earlier this year, I foolishly let several boys have sex with me. This was because I was feeling very low at the time. Now I have a slight, greenish discharge, and also, I keep getting little pink 'spots' of blood. Could I have chlamydia?

A. Yes, could well be. You must consult a doctor, who would arrange for a chlamydia swab to be sent to the lab. If you do have that common infection, then fortunately, it will be easy for the doctor to treat you with antibiotics.  In future, please treat your body with more respect. Girls who are feeling low should not respond by going to bed with guys!

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.