Parent training - the way forward

The Gleaner hosted a forum with the young men of Jamaica College who seemed to have been clear and forthright in their view that many parents are failing to give the guidance to children that will keep them from getting involved with drug abuse.

Once again, the cry echoes that our family structure in Jamaica needs strengthening. Our parenting skills need to be developed. This message must be carried far and wide in our nation.

I am heartened to see the Government putting in place a support programme for parenting in our communities. I hope that the legislative process will not delay the implementation of this much-needed programme. The various social agencies in our nation need to work together to address the eroding family structure and poor parenting skills in our country.

The churches need to engage in parenting training programmes in the communities in which they exist. In many rural communities, the church is sometimes the centre of social activities. Therefore, this provides the opportunity for the church to deliberately create a strategy to help to stem the poor socialisation of our children and the lack of early cognitive stimulation.

There is the need to address the verbal, physical and emotional abuse that is administered in the name of discipline. This strategy must also seek to educate our people on the value of life and respect for the young. There must be education on the boundaries that need to exist regarding sexual conduct. Men need to see children as vulnerable and dependent on them for protection, and not as an opportunity to fulfil their lustful desires.

innocent impressionables

Women need to see their young as impressionable and innocent and requiring their care and protection, and not as expendable in their attempt to get money. Too many women feel that because they were abused when they were young, nothing is wrong with their daughters being molested by their babyfathers, brothers, uncles or grandfathers. We need to change this culture.

As a nation, we cannot continue with the view that because parents are failing, therefore, the schools must take up the slack in bringing up our children. This does not work. The children's attachment to their parents is greater than their attachment to their schools. Home is the first place of socialisation.

This is clearly seen when observing children as young as age seven and eight in a classroom whose behaviour is evidently reflecting what they have seen at home and in their communities. Little girls speak in loud, vulgar tones, imitating the quarrelsome voice that they grow up around. They are ready to fight for the slightest offence. Self-control is lacking. This is also seen in the little boys' behaviour. They seem unable to sit still for even 15 minutes to engage in a learning activity. They shove, push and strike each other as a matter of course.

The teachers are unable to get on with the teaching activity because so much time is spent in trying to control the children's behaviour. Combine this with the apparent lack of early cognitive stimulation and you have children who are unable to recognise letters and sounds at the age-appropriate levels. If this pattern continues, we will not see an improvement in the Grade 1 Level Readiness Inventory or in the Grade 4 Literacy and Numeracy Tests. The home and school must work together if we are to move forward as a nation.

The need for the training of our parents is, therefore, an urgent necessity. For this training to have an impact, however, parents need to realise that there are certain attitudes that they must adopt to become effective in bringing up their children.

Parents need to recognise that until their children become self-sufficient, they must put the needs of their children first. Second, in order to bring up children well, we must first be disciplined in order to discipline them fairly and wisely. Third, we must realise that we are rearing our children not only for ourselves and for their future, but that we are building future generations.

many advantages

If as a nation we can get our parenting practices right, it will help to address a number of societal issues. First, there will be growth in the educational achievements of our students; second, our teachers will be dealing less with serious behavioural problems in the classrooms and instead a better learning environment will be created; third, we will have less crime in our country if we have more of our students being educated and staying in school; fourth, we will increase the cohort of skilled and educated workers for the job market; fifth, our economy will grow because we will attract more investors to our country that has more skilled and discipline workers and less crime.

This might seem simplistic to some, but if we look at what has been happening in our nation, we will realise that all of these outcomes are linked to each other. We need to turn our culture around. A strong family leads to a strong nation. Our parenting practices need to change. Adults need to begin to take responsibility for their young offspring and ensure that they bring them up to be adults who are contributing to their families and in turn their nation.

On another note; as a follow-up from last month's article, I am glad to see that the Ministry of Education has followed through with its promise to deal with the persons who were involved in including, without authorisation, the controversial pro-homosexuality material in the HFLE curriculum guide. We need to continue to try to protect our children in an age when perversity, abuse and violence are being perpetrated against them.

Esther Tyson is an educator. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and esther.tyson@gmail.com.